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I always liked seeing people’s reactions when they find out that me and my boyfriend met each other as pen pals.
Some would be skeptical with their “are you sugarcoating dating apps as penpal apps now?”, some expected that I would easily fall for someone through their words, some gush with excitement because “they’ve never heard of anything cuter”. I acknowledged all those reactions, because for sure, there is something so unrealistic yet utterly romantic about sending countless letters to some person you’ve never met, and slowly falling in love in the process.
Falling in love wasn’t intentional, at first. I wrote my first letter to my love back in May 2022 as a wide-eyed Indonesian girl with an unhealthy obsession with Switzerland, pledged to continue my studies there in the future, and would want to befriend locals as much as I can. Lucky for me, I found the right person through Slowly, because he was (and still is!) a walking Swiss dictionary, spilling fun facts about the country here and there on top of his head because he just knows. Our letters started off short with me asking about the academic system in Switzerland and him giving responses that I can never search for myself on the internet. Back then I was happy that I obtained myself a personal Swiss tourguide, but I didn’t expect that it was about to flourish into something more.
The more we sent letters to each other, the longer and personal it became, and the more I came to realize that he was probably the most fascinating person I ever came across. Born in two cultures – Swiss and Taiwanese – and he held on to both so tightly. It’s rare to see someone still embracing their identity like that. By the beginning of August, I mustered up the courage to ask for his other social media other than Slowly (since at this point, I knew nothing about him other than from the letters he wrote and his bio) but he politely declined the request, and I totally understood his stance (despite still being a bit disappointed of such rejection at the time). Still, that didn’t stop us to continue sending up to 5,000 words per letter every month, and as I grew to understand him more than any social media could ever show me. I dare to say that his letters were the only thing keeping me sane by the end of 2022, for they were the only thing I looked forward to through as I went through my hardest times in university.
Through a series of Sherlock guessing games, we were able to find each other’s social medias by the end of the year, and that was when we moved platforms. By then, I already when through the dilemma of “do I really like this guy or am I just fond by the idea of him?” because surely, even after reading all the Slowly stories and how people came to fall in love with each other, I couldn’t grasp the idea of that happening to me back then. When 2023 came to show and I was preparing myself for a summer school in Switzerland, he was the one who helped me the most. I took such deeds as part of his helpful nature, and I continued to categorize such actions as sympathy rather than interest. But there was a time when my heart took over my brain and I told myself that I liked this guy. No doubt. This was more than my fascination for Switzerland at this point. And there is no way that I can hide this any longer.
So I wrote him a confession letter. Took me 2,000 words to even say the word ‘I like you’. When I clicked send, the 48-hour waiting time had me on a chokehold. I just wanted to say that to him, to let it go off my system, but as I received his response that day it became clear to me that this whole time, he liked me too.
We finally got to meet each other by June 2023 as I was visiting Switzerland for the said summer school, managed to fight off the first meet awkwardness and safe distance, and it occurred to me that was when all the “I like you” turned into “I love you”, and the magic has never stopped since then. I have never felt so loved by someone, and he was able to make me feel such love even when he’s 11,000 kilometers away. We practically have the same ideals and beliefs in life, he supports me in my goals and dreams, and most important thing of all, we accept each other’s weaknesses.
We officially started dating after our first meet, and it has been seven months now. He came to my home country last January (for the sake of being with me) and I was able to introduce him to the best Indonesia can offer. When I thought it has reached the peak of me loving him, he seemed to be able to change that again and again, for I keep finding out more things about him that I adore. I see myself with him in the long run, as a lover and a partner, and I really hope he feels the same.
I will never stop thanking this app for helping me find out that true love really exists.
Photo 1: Basel, June 2023. I fell in love with both the city and him.
Photo 2: Jakarta, January 2024. We kept our fingers intertwined.
