I’ve met a wonderful man here in Slowly. He has a pure and gentle soul. He is genuine, funny and sweet. He has Asperger’s Syndrome. He has his sensitivities and he thinks differently, and that makes him beautiful.
I find myself looking forward to his mails. He sends me pictures of his hometown, his pet and videos of him playing the guitar and the keyboard. He trusted me from the very start; everything he shared with me is so personal. He makes me feel special. I can feel my heart fluttering. I decided to give him my Instagram account, and we started to chat every day. We get to know each other deeply. Although we have differences like our culture, our customs and traditions and our belief, we discovered we have a lot of things in common too, and sometimes we even say the same things at the same time.
We decided to become a couple. It feels so right. We sometimes talk about our future. It feels like I am dreaming. I was so happy until something tragic happened.
It is difficult to be in a long distance relationship. There are times that you want to be there physically because sometimes words are not enough. We have plans to meet in the future, but we have a lot of obstacles to face. First, we still have this pandemic, then the difficulty of me obtaining a visa to go to his country, as I am currently unemployed, and it is also difficult for him to come for a long period of time here, as he has a lot on his plate, which I understand.
Again, he has Asperger’s and he thinks way differently. He keeps thinking and thinking about these obstacles, making it hard for him to sleep and concentrate on his work. He becomes a different person. He asked me for a two weeks break, which I reluctantly gave him as I understood that he needed it so much.
During these two weeks period, he has come to a conclusion that our relationship will not work. He said he was able to accept it, and now he can sleep well and become more positive, like the person he used to be before we met. He has to let me go. He said that he needed some time to heal.
I believe in The Bible verse, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.”
We’ve talked about our point of view on love and relationship before. I said that if the person in a relationship with me is no longer happy, then I will let him go, no matter how painful it will be and how much I wanted him to stay, because if he stays because of a different reason other than love, then it is not love. I would rather see him happy on the path he chose to take than to be with me and continue to suffer.
It is hard to let you go, but I know I have to. As long as you are happy, that is all that matters.