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I’m someone who doesn’t have many friends in the real life. If you ask me, how many close friends do I have? I’d probably answer only 1 or 2 people, and even then I feel that we’re not very close, hahaha sorry. Because basically I prefer to be alone, and it’s not easy for me to get close to someone. Although sometimes people around me will say that I’m lonely girl, but I don’t care about that. Plus, some years were my toughest years. I always feel hard to express myself. The world is full of judgmental people. That’s why I decided to “withdraw” from this cruel world.

One of my hobbies is writing. Yes, I write whatever I want, whatever I like. Until I finally found this “Slowly” app. I found out about it from some people on social media. Then when I checked it, it turns out that this application is very suitable for me who has a hobby: writing. The format is the same as when we write a letter. We are free to write whatever we want, what we want to tell. We can freely send letters to anyone around the world. Uniquely, we don’t need to put our real photo as a profile, like other apps.

I originally installed “Slowly” just to find friends to talk to. At first only a few became my pen pals. And even then it was always short-term friendship, because they left somewhere. “They”? Yes, because they were always the ones who ended the letter without any news. I’m not a “convokiller” type of person. I almost got bored and almost uninstalled this app. But I didn’t, just took a few weeks off, then came back. I tried writing again, this time I filtered the search for friends, starting from neighbor countries and far countries. I don’t know why I chose Russia, even though I know that Russian is very difficult, I can’t even read Cyrillic, hahaha. I was still desperate and wrote letters to some Russians using English.

Just like in the beginning. Some of them only lasted for a short-term, but there was one person who faithfully replied to my letter. Here I won’t mention his real name, but instead call his “Bestie”. It’s a favorite nickname, especially from me to him. He was very kind, at the beginning he introduced himself very detail, told me many things, and even offered to ask me what I wanted to know about him. Every time I wrote Bestie, I couldn’t help, but put a smile on my face. We sent letters intensely, because the letters were sent in 29 hours, so we had to wait patiently. I really like waiting for a letter from Bestie, because for me it is always interesting and not boring.

Bestie is not a “convokiller” type of person, in fact he always asks me to tell him more stories. I always say to him, “why is it that when I listen to your story, I feel like I’m looking in the mirror? It’s really really really really really like seeing myself in you”. We often exchange stories, about our fears and worries about life. I never hesitated to tell him anything. I finally got the courage to ask for his other social media contacts, so we can chat faster and more intensely, hahaha. Long story short, we moved to chatting on other chatting app. Honestly, I really want to chat with Bestie 24/7, hahaha. I always want to know how he’s doing every day, hour, minute, and second. But I’m afraid he’ll get bored and feel annoyed, so we just chat as needed.

I know that not all people who are brought together are meant to be together. People can be brought together just to strengthen each other, complement each other, and exchange stories. Oh yeah, Bestie often told me about his country, Russia. That’s how I started to find out about the Russian language, and tried to learn it, even though it was really complicated for me. Before I knew Bestie, I was always scared every time I saw Cyrillic. But after knowing him, I became more happy, excited, and interested to learn. I learned from the internet, bought books, even found a tutor, hahaha.

Thank you. Thank you, Bestie. You’ve been a “book” for me. A “book” where I can always write, where I can freely pour out everything in my head and heart. Maybe sometimes you feel tired, bored, because you have to listen and accept all my stories. Maybe the word “thank you” is not enough to express everything. But I’m sure, one day you will know, without me having to tell you how I feel. Maybe not now, but someday.

For many years I feel this life is always like a night, because it’s always dark. But you are like a star that give a glimmer of light. I won’t equate you with a moon, because moon has no it’s own light. But star? They have their own light. And the fun fact is, stars can’t shine without darkness. So, never let anyone to turn off your sparkle. Because your light is needed.

Love you as always.