Originally written in German, translated by OpenAI.
I am enthusiastic about many things. But what blows me away the most, what makes me hold my breath, is the butterfly effect. The fact that today you would be somewhere else if you had made different decisions at certain points in the past. In my case, I definitely wouldn’t be here now, with the person who has become my home, if I hadn’t answered a certain little letter back then — and it almost happened that way.
I have been on Slowly for what feels like forever. I discovered this platform in 2019 and immediately dove in. Since writing is a part of me, it was never difficult for me to open up to a stranger with words. And let’s be honest — letter writing with a stranger can be insanely romantic. Let’s just say, through Slowly I have experienced QUITE a lot over the last 5 years and taken away both beautiful and sad moments.
At the end of June 2021, I was sitting in the car of my then best friend. We parked in a field next to the country road and enjoyed the sunset. I will never forget that moment, that atmosphere. On my phone I had, since the day before, a very short letter from a young man. I remember reading the letter aloud to my friend and wondering whether I should make the effort to answer him. My experience told me at that time that such a short letter was a sign that our correspondence would not last long. But I decided to reply. I sit here now and wonder what made me do it. Normally, I would have deleted such a short letter — I wasn’t here for fleeting acquaintances, and such writing habits didn’t promise much. Like I said, that was just my experience at the time.
This man referred to my profile and commented on it. Then with a line break came the question: What kind of music do you listen to?
Actually, not an unusual question, not an unusual letter. And yet I started typing, wrote down what came to my mind from his few lines, and in that moment, without knowing it, forged a future that exceeded all my expectations.
That very same day a reply came, and it was like the starting shot you hear in the distance. Every day we wrote each other a letter, for several weeks. July passed, then came August. My family stayed up late with me, waiting for my birthday, and while we clinked champagne glasses, his birthday letter was already waiting on my phone. It had arrived 10 minutes earlier, but I waited until midnight and then read it three more times when I was finally lying in bed. The next day I was going to be on the road for 8 hours with my father. He lives in Switzerland, and I was finally ready to follow him there. My mother and I were a bundle of nerves, she cried for me — I had never been permanently so far away from her. My new pen pal Duc knew about all this, and in the letter he sent me that evening was a song that touched me so deeply that I cried myself to sleep.
The length of our letters rose rapidly, we poured out our souls, exchanged thoughts about the past and the present, always eager to tell each other what had happened. At some point we spoke about hugs, we teased each other and told one another how grateful we were, how good the other’s words felt. Meanwhile, I was slowly settling into my new home, looking for a job, setting up my room, doing paperwork, sorting out insurance. One evening my father came home from work with a package in his arms, my name on it. Completely baffled, I took it and looked at the sender. There I saw his full name for the first time. It was Vietnamese, and until then I had only known his nickname. Then it clicked why I had never heard such a name before. What do you do first when you have a name without a face? You Google. On a job platform I found someone with his name. I was 90% sure it was him, since there was a keyword I recognized in the profile. I settled slowly on the balcony, savoring the anticipation of the package. It was his first birthday gift to me. I was so excited I had to tell my mother. To this day we laugh about how she said I would return to Germany for love, and of course I denied it. Switzerland had been my dream for years, I wouldn’t give it up for a man. But then I suddenly held a phone number in my hands and everything turned upside down. Today I say: my mother was right.
Even today Duc mimics my very first nervous “Hiiiii.” That was the first thing he heard from me. I was so nervous! So incredibly excited! And then I heard his voice, so pleasant and kind. And God, I liked him even more right away! From that point on we boarded a roller coaster together with loops and spins, and it didn’t stop. Almost no day passed without us talking on the phone at night, playing Stardew Valley together, or watching a movie. We talked late into the night. Once my dad scolded me not to laugh so loudly, he had to get up so early and couldn’t sleep. Once I woke up to Duc’s snoring in my ear. The call had gone on all night and it felt like we were right next to each other. In the morning we said good morning, hung up, only to talk again in the evening. We laughed a lot together, and after an argument with my father, he comforted me. After a few calls we came up with the idea of seeing each other. Duc wanted to visit me, making the long journey by train. I wanted to at least video chat once beforehand because I was afraid I wouldn’t recognize him at the station. Then it was set, we had a date and saw each other for the first time through the camera. From then on, we fell asleep next to each other until the day came.
I still remember sitting at a bar in Zurich airport, ordering tea to calm my nerves. My father had encouraged me, back then I was still very shy. Then I took the train to the main station and it was time. I held up a homemade carpool sign for Duc, and there he came toward me, and I got the longest and warmest hug of my life. Another one of those unforgettable moments.
Our roller coaster was just getting started. That same evening we had an unofficial date in a steak restaurant. And in a playful gesture outside, our hands touched. When it started to drizzle and he didn’t let go of my hand, it was like in a movie.
It was mid-September 2021, and that evening we got together. Our souls had found each other.
Duc stayed for a week and we made a trip to a certain mountain pass. Up there, just the two of us, like in a dream, he told me for the first time “I love you.”
Unfortunately, I couldn’t say it back at that moment, because of my past. Instead, I hugged him. A year later, in that exact same place, I gave him my yes.
And now I sit here with teary eyes and a heart in my chest that couldn’t be more grateful. Today we are building a house and talking about names our children might have. In this once-strange young man with that short letter, I found my best friend, husband, soulmate, and my home. I am writing this in celebration of our fourth anniversary, he still doesn’t know about it. We have already shared many adventures, overcome obstacles, defeated monsters. And still we look into each other’s eyes as if it were our first day together. This man carries a large part of my heart with him, and I know it is safe with him.
Now to you, Duc:
Here’s to us! To everything that will still come our way and that we will tear down with all our strength!
Thank you so much for the last 4 years, I cannot even describe how happy you make me. I am so looking forward to our future and savor every moment I get to enjoy your smile.
Your wife, who loves you more deeply than words could ever say,
Selina.
